So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
