are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
