I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
