I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
