Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
