i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
