Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize