You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
