Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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