Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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