Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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