Non-Jews are for practice
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
