It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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