After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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