i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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