So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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