I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize