im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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