Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
