11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
