if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
