We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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