Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I need moral support for this bender
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
