I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
