Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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