he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm bleeding and have questions
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