i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
