My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
