Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
