Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
