You work out of a Hotel?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
