stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
