What did we do last night that was yellow?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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