great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Green mimosas i think yes
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
