When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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