i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
