TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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