I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
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Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So vagazzling was a success
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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