i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
