your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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