hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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