He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
