Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize