That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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