"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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