Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
