I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
