Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
