I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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