Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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