bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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