im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
