My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
