I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
