Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
