Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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