I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
