when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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