On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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