10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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