I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
