I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
