problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
