If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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