This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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