Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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