okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
